So as I am sitting on this plane, I figured I would fill my countless hours of travel writing some tips to flying from a stylish jetsetter like myself.
1 - Wear slip on shoes or sandals, it is easier for you and the person behind you when going through the security line.
2 - Book your flight earlier than I did this time around, you don't want to sit next to the lavatory (not because it smells, because people walk by all the time). If you get and aisle seat, try to sit as close to first class as you can, some airlines don't want coach walking through first class, so you will have less people bumping their fat asses into you (literally).
3 - Wear a hoodie. A hoodie is your best friend on a flight. If you are cold, it keeps you warm. If you are hot, take it off and use as a pillow or throw in a bag (it’s not big, it’s a hoodie!). Also, if you go for a larger hood like mine, it makes a great sun shade and you look like a gangster badass.
4 - Don't wear a belt. 50 percent of the time it really doesn't matter if you have a belt on for a metal detector, but I find it to be a hassle to take my belt off and put it back on when going through security.
5 - Don't fly American airlines. This is all personal bias, but I've had more unpleasant experiences on that airline than any other. For instance, not letting me late check my bag (or sending it on a later flight) forcing me to do a redeye and pay a $75 change fee. Or another time where the flight got cancelled and nobody told us anything about the flight until 5 minutes after it was supposed to leave.
6 - If you are single and flying southwest, B boarding group 1-30 is awesome. This allows you to cherry pick your seat. Most people have already taken the window or aisles, but a few are left and then you can select who you sit next to, not the other way around. This strategy helps avoid sitting next to the fatty that takes up 1/4 of your seat or the plagued SOB that's coughing all over the place or the psycho that that sings to her baby through the entire flight (all of which have happened to myself or a friend). But more importantly, it allows you to pick a seat next to the cute brunette that you get to chat to for the next couple of hours.
6 - I am feeling the number 6 today, so we'll use it a couple times. Ways to sleep - My favorite is the pull the tray table down and use your arm as a pillow (my gigantic muscles make for great pillows, for those that aren't as lucky, the hoodie would come in handy). My buddy Jared goes for the window seat lean, meaning he lays his tired little head on the wall. The other strategy is the “lay back with your retarded jaw open strategy” that I see from most people. Lastly, I can sometimes make the use my hand as a pedestle for my beautiful head, which I learned in highschool government classes.
7- Fly nonstop at all costs. Jetblue is awesome for nonstop cross country flights into lesser known airports (this is their strategy to be the amazing company they are) and they have awesome TV's that make it impossible to read.
8 – Don’t sit at the back of a AirTrans Flight, you will get this much leg room… (look @ that awesome fade on those jeans)
Lastly, here is the view that I get to see oh-so-often… Aren’t you so jealous? Okay, so sometimes it is cool but sometimes its just nice to sleep in your own bed… Even if it is on your friend’s apartment floor without any bedding on it..
